im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
