I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
