brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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