Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
