I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
In America we eat man semen.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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