Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
