His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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