I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
