You're a womanizer and a bitch.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
