Yo dont text me then not text me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
