the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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