Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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