It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
