i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
