Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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