There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
