It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
