Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
