I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i dont even know how to be here
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
