small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
