For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Oh god it's open bar.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
