Tell her she can't have a vagina
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
