thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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