Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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