She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
