Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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