You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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