do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
