Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
