I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
