he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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