Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
