? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
