So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
