you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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