Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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