they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
