I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
