..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
