I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I had to cum in my sink.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
