I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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