is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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