Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
