You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
