so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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