I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
