New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
