when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
