My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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