Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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